Dear August // 14 weeks

Dear August,

I have a few frazzled thoughts for you this week.

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the day to day details: You’re waking up more at night for some reason. We’ve both been recovering from a cold, so maybe that’s it. But I also have this feeling you know that our exclusive 1:1 time together is coming to a close. I have all the feels. 

You’re getting so strong. You can hold your neck up, you’re starting to plant your feet, and you’re even starting to do these crunch-like things when you’re on your back. 

You’re talking up a stormmmm. You have things to say. 

You’re still a super chill, super smiley guy. 

mom thoughts:

I’m new at this mom-of-a-son thing, and something about it makes me way more nervous than mothering a daughter. The girl thing–I got this. Girl power. Let’s do this. Hear us roar. 

But a son? Luckily you will have your father as a role model. 

I hope you become the type of man who cares about all people. . . the type of man who cares about women, who supports them and respects them and lifts them up. Regardless of who you love or spend your life with, be a champion for women. for me, for your sister. . . support a world where we are truly equal. Please. 

this week in hisherstory

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I don’t like to write about politics in these letters, but this week we watched the first presidential debate between Trump and Hilary. It was bizarre and frightening to me and also just felt so much like a critical moment in time. The world feels as though it’s teetering on a dangerous edge, and I hope it lands on the side of equality and safety and inclusiveness. I hope we as a country figure out how to stand up for Black lives. I hope we figure out how to ensure that women are really, truly treated as equals. I hope we turn away from bigotry, hate, and fear. We can’t allow ourselves to be governed by the smallest parts of who we are. 

August, make sure you vote. Every time. Do your homework. Research the candidates and the issues. Don’t stand by and let your city or your state or your country be driven without your say. Vote. It’s an honor and a right that we take for granted that our ancestors fought dearly to provide for us. Always vote. 

By the time you’re my age, the day to day reality of your world will be completely different. I can’t even imagine how much technology will have changed and how much it will control every little aspect of our lives. For my part, I feel as though it already has a hold on too much of my day. Although I appreciate the efficiencies and luxuries technology allows me, I am certain it is taking something more and more from me each day. It’s taking the time I need to reflect and think and process. It’s seducing me to waste my precious time with addictive nothingness. Luckily I have you to keep me grounded and keep my eyes away from the screen, but it’s a dangerous slippery slope we’re sliding towards. 

I want to make sure we always prioritize each other over the screens. 

img_3679As I was typing this you started fussing a little, so I immediately stopped typing and scooped you into my arms for a sweet snuggle, a kiss and a nursing session. Your bright eyes sparkled up at me. You scrunched your nose, and smiled at me while you nursed. Then you stopped and talked to me for a second. You looked around and soaked in the room. You grinned back at me. 

I want to remember the weight of you, still so small but already a giant compared to your newborn self. You are so perfect, my son. I love you with every part of me, and I am so, so grateful that we are on this journey together. I cherish you, my darling. 

I’ll do my best to be the type of mom who is always here to scoop you up and snuggle you in whatever way you need. 

You’re my light.

You are so loved, my dear August, always,
Mom

 

 
Mere