I must have plums on the mind this week. I can feel stone fruit season slipping away, and I am fighting it. Because I love plums so dearly, I have always had a soft spot in my heart for this William Carols Williams poem. Now that I am married, this poem seems to reveal so much more to me. This Is Just To Say. and Forgive me. A tiny written note can say so much.
I also have marriage on the mind because, as I've mentioned, I am reading Gone Girl. Holy Crap is it intense and suspenseful and jam packed with a frightening look at marriage.
Each morning before I leave for work I find Viet's wedding ring (whether it has been lovingly left on the dining room table or his desk or the floor), and I place it carefully on top of his wallet. We have been married now for almost four months. Four months of spooning (we love spooning) and picnics and new wines and sunsets. Amidst moments of sweet bliss (last week Viet said, "I think you love me more right now." and somehow I did) and moments of hissed disagreements (No I did not do the dishes. You forgot your ring?! again!), we are slowly settling into this new phase.
And what I want to remember most from these early months is laughter. That we fought stress and anger and exhaustion with laughter. We are at our best when we can make each other laugh even in our worst moments. My husband is a man of very few words, and if words were raindrops I'd be a rushing river. So I have learned to read his faces, to lean into the curve of his dimples, and to adjust my reaction to the strength of his jaw. He can make me laugh with a single glance. I am the noisier half. My comedy is quite literally louder. I sing and talk and make noises. I make him laugh with impressions: homestar runner and Marcel the Shell.
While in the middle of a empty argument over dinner, we decided to create a game. I call it "10 words." When he is feeling overly frustrated with my loquacious explanation or he is staring silently at me (and I think I might scream), either of us may evoke 10 words. In such a case, I will say "10 words or more." He would say "10 words or less." This game is brilliant, because it most often ends with me playing charades with him or him telling a funny story. Both always end in laughter.
In terms of next steps, we are dreaming of a bigger apartment, but we also can't imagine leaving this lovely place. Even though we don't have a dish washer or almost any storage, the trees and the flowers and the cozy cottage warmth of this place are quite magical. We have outgrown this tiny apartment in so many ways, but the magic makes it worth it.
We don't have fancy furniture (all Ikea or Craigslist here), so you won't see many interior design shots of our place here on the blog. We have well loved and well worn hand me downs. Our coffee table was left in our hands by a world traveling friend three years ago (she swore she'd come back for it). She's currently in South Sudan. Our good friend Duchess passed gave us her awesome Eddie Bauer pull-out couch close to four years ago when she moved cross-country. She now lives back in SF. Our dining room table was given to us by another friend cleaning out her apartment, and all of our bureaus, buffets, and desks we found at Goodwill (they're awesome! trust me!). I think our nicest piece of furniture (?) is the jewelry armoir Viet bought me for Christmas two years ago. Is it worn and well used, and it is home. at least for now.
yes. Forgive me. and the plums. This Is Just To Say. it's all worth it. Thank goodness for better halves to make us whole and friends to keep us sane.