Well hello again. Our tree is up. The lights are on. Without even realizing it last night as I rocked the bean to sleep I started singing Oh Holy Night instead of my normal sing her to sleep song (Only Love by Wynona Judd). As she drifted off to sleep I started tearing up. Although I’m not a particularly wonderful singer, I love to sing, and I have always dreamed of singing to my children. I am living the life I always imagined. I try to keep stopping to remember that every time it hits me so I can be present and grateful and let the joy wash over me.
The photo above cracks me up. I’ve decided that come hell or high water we’re going to try to take at least one family picture each month. It doesn’t have to be fancy (see above. This is how I look most days. No makeup. Dirty hair. Trying to smile even when the bean is crying. This is as good as it gets, and it is good.), just us in real time. Our friend Connor took this photo of us yesterday in front of our very first tree as a family of three. As you can see, the bean doesn’t realize how amazing the tree is yet. I take so many of the photos around here that I don’t always get in front of the camera, so we’ll see if we can pull together a monthly family photo.
The holidays are here, and it feels bittersweet. Time is slipping through my fingers, and I’m desperately trying to stay in the present instead of worrying about how little time I have left before I head back to work (50 days). The Bean and I are flying out to Alabama early Saturday morning to spend two weeks with my family, and I’m terrified of the flight. The Bean has flown before (about six weeks ago), and last time she was a champ and slept through most of the flights. But the hubs was also with me last time, and this time we have 4.5 hours ahead of us instead of 1 and change.I am feeling daunted trying to figure out how to nurse her sitting next to a stranger and how to handle a possible newborn meltdown 30,000 feet up. I’m sure we’ll be fine. We just have to make it through those seven hours or so of traveling and then I’ll have love and support and family. I can’t wait for my dad, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents to meet our little girl. It is going to be a very special trip. Then she and I will have to make it through one more flight on our own on our way to L.A. to meet the hubs and his family for a few days before we fly home together as a family to celebrate Christmas here. We are so lucky that we will have all of this time with family and then that we can start to create our own cozy family traditions here at home.
As for my goals this month:
Write Every Day. Two months ago I signed up for my friend Tiffany’s awesome program: 100 Rejection Letters. I signed up without any clear goals for myself in mind. I was just so ding dang inspired I couldn’t not sign up. Tiffany has that sort of effect on people. I’m pretty behind on the program, but this month I’d like to take a baby step in the right direction by trying to cultivate a daily writing practice. Tiff has been doing this as a part of the program, and I’ve been meaning to commit to something like that for the longest time. So here goes. I’ve set up an account in Penzu, and I’m just going to try to write at least a page every day. Doesn’t matter what. Just write. I’ve decided that blogging counts.
Relax. I’ve had manageable but annoying bouts of anxiety since the bean was born. It’s been hard for me to not cross things off my to-do list every day. I’m a pretty productive lady and caring for the bean has been a real shift for me. I’ve had to try to embrace being a mom and keeping her safe and cared for as my main daily goals. It’s ironic because I know as soon as I’m back to work and crazy busy, I’ll miss these quiet days with her in my arms. With the time that I left on leave, I’m going to try to balance getting some things accomplished (like writing more and organizing the apartment) with just embracing my role as caretaker and relaxing and enjoying these days. I’m also hoping to get a lot of good relaxing in while I’m with my fam.
Keep taking photos. I’ve been trying to take a lot of photos of Bea and our life right now so that I can remember things. I want to keep this up and try to make photography more of a regular habit for me.
Knit! The chill is in the air, and I’m back on the knitting train. I’ve missed it, but I realized that in addition to reading, knitting is a nice thing to have handy to fill in the quiet moments of in between time I have during some days.
Make cookies. Yep. Check.
Celebrate the first Nguyen family Christmas. I am so excited for our first Christmas together at home as a family of three. I’m looking forward to creating our own traditions and snuggling up beside our tree this year.
Keep eating greens. I’ve done a pretty good job of eating greens along with our meals, but as the holidays approach, I want to remind myself to make sure I’m getting enough of the good nutrients along with the sweets.
Here’s to you, December. 31 days that have never happened before and will never happen again. Travel and family and more watching the bean grow and change. Saying goodbye to an epic year, and welcoming a fresh start.
Let’s do this.