When you were very little, twenty weeks was this way off special bench marker for me. When I saw other babies that were twenty weeks, I thought, that looks like magic. They seemed like they were coming out of their shells and finding themselves.
And it more or less is magic. You’re captivating to watch these days, my love. You’re smiling and charming and talking and cooing and moving like you’re constantly shouting to the world, “Woo! I’m here!” You laugh so easily, and you’re grins have turned into full face productions.
You had an exciting week my love. Your Gigi and I took you to your first swimming class. You mostly cried, but also just had wide serious eyes as you took in the water all around you. It was pretty fun. After I’d put your swim diaper on and then your swimsuit, I held you on my hip and you immediately peed all over me. So much for swim diapers. It was one of those classic I’ll never forget this moments.
On Sundays Papa reads you stories from the paper, and you watch him captivated by every word.
While I’m at work Gigi sends me pictures of you. You’re always grinning, and you look like you’re having the time of your life. I’m so so so grateful that your Gigi has been here these past two weeks. I can tell you adore her so much already. She’s spent your days singing and dancing and playing. You’re a lucky little one to have her in your life.
I’m still learning how to live in this new normal. It’s been really hard to be away from you during the days, but I also feel so happy and motivated when I’m at work. It’s a constant bittersweet feeling. The days are long, but they always end with you nuzzled up in my arms.
I can’t believe how large you’re getting now. Your legs dangle off my lap when you’re nursing, and you’re feeling heavier and heavier. I know it’s great, but it still feels surprising to me that my ‘lil baby is becoming a big hearty rosy cheeked baby.
I’m sure that someday soon I’ll be getting more sleep and feel a little less exhausted. Ever since I’ve been back at work, you seem to be waking up more at night. But I mostly can’t complain. I am filled with so much love and contentment each time I take you in my arms in the dark and hold you close.
Mostly I just want you to know how all encompassing and desperately you are loved.
You are so, so, so loved, my Beanshine. Always.