Dear Beatrice // Week 28

Photo Mar 25, 5 24 16 PMDear Beatrice,

We are in Austin this week. It’s your first trip to Texas to attend your very first wedding (aunt Elizabeth and uncle Cole). About a year ago this week, we announced we were pregnant. I remember it vividly; I spent the first three months of my pregnancy paralyzed by fear that any day you might just stop being. and then. . . it was March, and the flowers (clivia lilies) in our backyard began to bloom.

I was only barely nauseous (which at the time made me more nervous), and then we passed into the zone where we began to hope (and the flowers were the bright orange and green of our wedding colors). 

They’re blooming again this year, and I just can’t help but smile. It’s march, and they’ve arrived again. You were just a bud of hope last March, and now you’re a full fledged person with pudgy legs and full, kissable cheeks.

When I was pregnant, I imagined what it would be like to come to this wedding with you as a six month baby. I didn’t know you then. You were just a dream. And now I’m living this life where I get to hold you in my arms and show you to the world. 

Sure, things are new and challenging and life is hard sometimes adjusting to parenthood, but being your mom is everything wonderful and joyful that I ever imagined. I love you as much and more than I ever could have imagined.

You just started sucking your thumb this week. You ate chicken and pears for the first time (you loved them both). When you smile, I think you look like me. You’ve stolen our hearts.

You are so loved, my Beanshine, always,