hi there-[taps mic]
I miss blogging.
Things are whirling around me too fast lately for me to grab onto any single thing or moment. I’m trapped in the flow of the tide.
and sometimes when you’re in that zone-it’s a little hard to see how things will change. I mean I know they will. It’s just hard to feel that they will in my anxious chest.
this too shall pass. I remind myself. Babies and toddlers grow up, and I need to enjoy these magical ages while they’re here. but I can’t do that without giving up some of my own goals and wishes for myself right now. Now is the time to focus on them for a while. They need us. They’re dependent on us in a core and fundamental way, and that just has to be the priority.
and so I’m trying to make peace with that, and I have good days and bad days.
But mostly I think I need to write again for the sake of writing. So here goes.
Here are 5 things lately:
1. All three of my brothers were born on March 1st. They’re the best. I love them. They are so different and each so awesome. I just looked up their astrological sign: Pisces. I think this is the first time in my whole life that I’ve known their sign. bizarre.
- BTW: The World record for siblings born on a single day is something like 5, which is nuts (but includes multiples, I believe? this is obviously not fair).
2. I’ve been listening to Kelsey Wharton’s podcast Matrimoney with her husband. so good. they keep it real real and talk about their budget and their values, and it’s so refreshing and interesting. highly recommend. Kelsey actually inspired me to write this post, so thank you Kelsey. 🙂
3. I’m reading a lot more so far in 2017, and I’m loving it. I set a goal to read 24 books this year. I’ve joined an awesome book club, so that’s helping. Our first book of the year was The Book of Ove (highly enjoyed it) and in February we read Amy Schumer’s Lower Back Tattoo (loved). I’m also reading the Throne of Glass series for funsies. I’ve also been reading Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin (Author of The Happiness Project), and it’s giving me so much to think about. I’ve discovered I’m what they call an “Obliger.” I’m primarily motivated by external expectations, those of others. This is causing me to have some sort of third life crisis. I’m not even sure I can say more than that yet.
4. I knit a blanket for Ace while I was pregnant. It turned out humongous (yes. I am one of those lazy knitters who doesn’t make swatches. :/). Bea promptly decided it was obviously her blanket. So I’m making him a second smaller blanket using this same super simple pattern. I love it.
5. I feel like I haven’t quite mastered everyday life yet, and it makes me feel anxious and guilty. Maybe it’s adding another babe. Maybe it’s 2nd babe (not sleeping) + trying to squeeze my job into four days + apparently being an Obliger (see #3). I can spend every waking hour when I’m not at work or with the kids cleaning, and it is never enough. So I’ve decided we just need to keep getting rid of things until we have few enough things that it doesn’t take much time to clean them or put them back. #lifegoals
that’s it for now. It literally took me four days to get this post written between kids and sleep and life.
til next time-